That's odd
by theuninvitedgirl
Summary: Rangiku and Izuru find themselves in an odd predicament. Slight yaoi


**Author's Note: I was really hyper when I did this. I didn't intend on insulting anyone by making this. Gay people are AWESOME. Anyway, hope you enjoy this story.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach or any of its characters. **

THAT'S ODD

"What. The. Hell."

That morning, Rangiku was having a lovely day. She'd been lazing around on the sofa all day long, drinking sake, sleeping and, of course, plotting ways to hook-up Hitsugaya-taichou with Hinamori. Speaking of which, she wondered why her tiny taichou hadn't bugged her to do her work all day long. She wasn't complaining, though.

The only thing that would make her day the perfectest, loveliest, wonderfulest, amazingest (and whatever positive adjective that ended with -est) day of her life was her best friend, Gin. 'Hmm...wonder what he's up to?', she thought. 'Probably molesting some poor guy.'

When the silver-haired imp had confessed about being gay, the blonde bombshell had been disappointed. Disappointed was an understatement. She was, what do you call it? Extremely disappointed. Yes, she was extremely disappointed. She had quite a crush on him. Apparently, she wasn't the only one, as his coming out had been one of the biggest upsets in the history of Seireitei (well, at least to the women) as he had been one of the most sought-after bachelors.

Stragely, his ranking in the 100 Hottest Shinigami Charts had gone up by 5 points, surpassing Hisagi Shuuhei, Renji Abarai, Hitsugaya-taichou and 2 other random guys to become 2nd place, only after Byakuya Kuchiki. Coincidentally, the ratings of male subscribers to the popular magazine had gone up, much to the confusion of the Women's Shinigami Association.

But just because Gin obsessed over guys now didn't mean that he didn't like Rangiku anymore. Particularly a certain part of her. Hey, being gay still has its limits.

Suddenly, a knock on the door interrupted her thoughts. "What?", she asked irritatedly. Couldn't people understand the huge pink, flowery and glittery sign that hung outside her captain's office?

The first (and last) time her taichou had seen it, he had stared at it for a very long time before quietly threatening Rangiku to remove it before he unleashed his zankaputo on it. "But it's a gift from Shunsui-san!", she had pleaded. "I DON'T CARE NOW REMOVE THAT THING!" Now, much to her chagrin, the only time she could put it up was when the snowflake brat was out.

"Rangiku-san? I'm sorry, are you busy?", a quiet voice replied.

"Oh, it's you Izuru. Come in!" A perpetually depressed blonde entered the room. "What brings you here?", she asked.

"I'm looking for taichou, he-"

"He hasn't visited me all day long.", she pouted. "And he just had to hide his reiatsu."

"Where could he be, then?"

"I told you, I don't know. He promised to visit me yesterday. Here, have some sake while waiting for him. Normally, I like getting drunk with happier people, but for now you'll have to do, my perpetually depressed gay friend.", she blabbered.

"W-what? What are you talking about? I'm not gay!", Izuru sputtered, turning redder and redder.

"Huh? You don't need to lie about it."

"About what?"

"That you like Gin!" She gasped. "Oh, that's it. You're so cute! You probably think I'll tell Gin about it, don't you. Don't worry, I won't. I'll give you some advice. First of all, Gin likes pretty boys but you aren't really that pretty. But luckily for you, I'm here and I can teach you how to put on make-up and fix your lovely blonde hair-"

"RANGIKU-SAN! I DON'T LIKE TAICHOU!" Izuru shouted after he imagined a particularly disturbing image of himself (in a dress, hair curled, with make-up on, lipstick, eyeshadow, mascara and all) kissing his taichou. That, and he was kind of insulted at the fact that Rangiku-san had said he wasn't all that pretty.

"Why else would you be looking for him?", Rangiku wondered.

"He has to submit an important document to Kuchiki-san. And you know how Kuchiki-san is about time!"

"Why didn't you tell me earlier? We could have found him by now!", she said.

"I was trying to but-"

"Shut up and quit whining! Let's look for Gin already!" And with that, she dragged the poor blonde out.

* * *

><p>After an hour of searching in a completely random building (well, more of Izuru searching. Rangiku gracefully sat down on a chair that magically popped out of nowhere and drank more sake.) for the silver fagface, which a certain pink-haired midget oh-so-fondly nicknamed him after she heard him fangaying about her Byakki (that's right, HER Byakki), Izuru decided to take a rest.<p>

He approached Rangiku and sat down next to her, on the ground (apparently, the god of chairs that pop out of nowhere didn't like him that much). They stayed there for a while, Rangiku getting drunker and drunker by the second, and Izuru being emo and all, saying "Byakuya-san will kill me, Byakuya-san will kill me" repeatedly.

Suddenly, they heard a distintly male voice moan, followed by "Stop! Someone will hear us!" coming from a random room that Izuru hadn't seen.

Rangiku and Izuru glanced at each other and stood up. They approached the random room that Izuru hadn't seen as quietly as they could. Rangiku reached for the doorknob and jerked the door back. And what they saw brought them to their current predicament.

"What The. Hell."

Imagine the feeling of seeing an old, wrinkly man say nasty things while fondling an equally old and wrinkly woman and multiply that feeling a hundred times. That's what Rangiku and Izuru had felt after seeing what they saw.

'No wonder taichou always made that constipated face when I told him to hook him up with Hinamori-chan.'

'No wonder taichou started slacking off on his duties.'

Hitsugaya and Ichimaru were in a rather...uncomfortable position, doing X-rated stuff which I won't mention here.

"...Hitsugaya-taichou?"

"M-Matsumoto, what are you doing here?", the chibi captain stuttered while trying to push off the silver fagface.

"Um...Izuru here was looking for Gin to sign some important document. Izuru?" Said man was passed out on the floor, blood gushing from his nose at an an alarming rate. "Izuru? Izuru! Gin, get your pedophillic ass over here and help your liutenant!"

Unfortunately, Gin, who somehow managed to remain completely unfazed, ignored her and turned to smile at Hitsugaya lecherously. Hitsugaya paled.

And that's how an impatient Byakuya who was holding hands with a little girl found them, Izuru lying on the ground with a pool of blood surrounding him, Rangiku screaming obscenities at Ichimaru and Hitsugaya, who were having a gayfest right in front of them.

"Byakki! They stole our hiding spot!"

Byakuya blinked, slightly disturbed.

"That's odd."

* * *

><p><strong>Sorry for the sucky ending. Review please!<strong>


End file.
